As you prepare to explore how the experience of cancer [or another serious illness] has brought you new life and new wisdom, first become as comfortable possible. . . . And as you allow your body to feel fully supported, gently close your eyes and allow your muscles to relax by letting any tension or discomfort flow down your spine, into the furniture and then into the ground. . . . And when your muscles are very loose and limp, let them relax even more. . . .

And as you continue to relax and yet remain alert, I invite you to bring your attention to the place within where you carry your identity. Like pictures in the family album that show who you were at different stages of your life, your image of yourself changes from year to year-and even, at times, from day to day, especially when major events like cancer force you to adapt to new challenges.

To explore who you are today, I invite you to pretend that while you slept last night a kind and wise old elf waved a magic wand over all the mirrors in your house so that they now have a most unusual quality. For one thing, looking in these mirrors is now a pleasant experience, even if you tend to avoid ordinary mirrors. And when you stand in front of these special, magical mirrors, you discover they have very unusual qualities. They allow you to look into the past, to see beyond your outer image to who you are as a whole person, to suggest answers to questions, and even more amazing, they allow you to enter into the mirror itself so your can experience who you are from a whole different perspective.

And now, pretending that the wise and magical mirrors are available to you here in your imagination, first of all recall who you were physically before you had cancer, imagining that your body of the past is not concealed by clothing, so you can see all of your physical features. As you look into a full length magical mirror and begin to see a reflection of your body, sense yourself slowly entering into the mirror itself so that you become the body you had before cancer, whether that was several months ago or many years in the past. Allow yourself to re-experience your body as it used to be, allowing the feelings to be as strong and clear as you can make them. . . .

Our body image can be very important to our self-esteem, especially if we compare our body to the ideal presented by fashion and advertising. But now, notice the futility of making such comparisons. Imagine for just a moment that the mirror can show you the important people in your life, especially the people you like and love. . . . Notice that none of them have perfect faces and bodies. It isn't their physical appearance you admire, but their other qualities. And it isn't your physical perfection, or lack of perfection, that they love. And so, allow yourself now to appreciate your own body and features just as you were before you had cancer. . . .

Letting that image fade, allow the mirror to give you an another experience of how truly wonderful and unique your body always is. Do this by first imagining that you can move about in your body of the past. As fully as possible, sense yourself walking . . . running . . . standing . . . sitting. And now observe that as you moved about, your body of the past could do this only in the way that you were able to walk, run, stand or sit at that time. You couldn't move the way someone else's body moved because you didn't have their body, you had yours. Using the magic qualities of this mirror, appreciate the uniqueness of your body before you got cancer. . . .

Let this physical image of who you were before you had cancer fade, imagine that you stand in front of the mirror just as you are today, seeing your physical reflection with honesty, compassion and, maybe, with a little sense of humor. . . . Once again discover that you can enter into the mirror. Experience clearly how much the cancer and any surgery or other treatment caused changes in your physical appearance, perhaps leaving not only a scar or blemish on the outside of your body, but internal changes that others cannot see, but which you know make your body different from what it was. . . .

As you observe your present body in this mirror, notice that because of treatment-and because all bodies change with time, your physique may be quite a bit less-than-perfect, even if it had been close to perfection in the past. On the other hand, you may notice that your body is healthier than it was before, because you now take better care of it. But no matter how your body looks, it doesn't look like anyone else's body. It is quite unique. Once again imagine you are moving about in this new body of yours, walking . . . running . . . standing . . . sitting. Notice that today, as in the past, you move in a way that is possible for you alone. . . .

As you experience the changes caused by cancer, you may simply feel grateful for treatment because without it you could be in far worse shape than you are now. Perhaps you might not even be alive. Yet sometimes people who have gone through a serious illness find it very difficult to accept their new body image. If that is true for you, allow this wise mirror to show you now what you can do to become more comfortable with your changed body, remembering that loving ourselves, even the parts that aren't perfect, allows us to more fully love and appreciate the other imperfect people in the world. . . .

Now because your mirror is a wise mirror, take this opportunity to ask it a question concerning your body, perhaps asking if there is something you need to do, beyond what you already are doing, to improve your immune system and enhance your physical well-being. And after you've asked the question, sense what answer the wise mirror can offer today. . . .

Allowing the image of your physical body to fade, imagine you can step inside the mirror to experience the kind of person you used to be. Like all of us, you had many interesting facets to your personality and temperament. The forces that shaped your life were uniquely yours-from the particular culture and family in which your grew up to your natural talents and the skills you developed throughout your life. Take a moment now to experience who you were then and reflect on the characteristics that are most important for you to remember today. . . .

Letting the image of who you were in the past fade, once more stand in front of the magical mirror and as you listen to several questions about your life today, allow answers to bubble up from your subconscious. Accept whatever initial thoughts and images you have as gifts you can explore further when the imagery experience is over. And now, begin by noticing if your relationships with some people deepened and if you have made new friends because of cancer? . . . And now, observe what have you learned about life that you could not have learned without this experience? . . . How has your approach to everyday activities changed? . . . Have you discovered inner strengths you hadn't known you possessed? . . . Has your faith deepened or changed in some way? . . . Do you take better care of yourself now than you did before? . . . And finally, in what way has your life changed the most as a result of cancer? . . .

And now turn your attention to the room you are in, bringing with you something from this experience that is important for you to remember. . . . And then feel your body comfortably supported, . . . take a deep energizing breath, . . . stretch your arms and legs . . . and open your eyes, returning to full awareness and appreciating the unique person you have become.

© Copyright 1998, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT