A Eulogy for Elijah James Henry
A Letter From the Family Read by a Friend
In the last several days, as we've talked about Eli and received condolences from relatives and friends, we've come to realize that he was loved by many people.
In some ways their words have been a comfort to us. In other ways their words have, unfortunately, reminded us of how much he will be missed.
For example, these are quotations from a group of his friends the day after they heard of his death.
"If one word could be used for Eli, it was 'peacemaker.' . . . He could connect with anyone. . . . He could start a conversation and then he knew you. . . . He was very charismatic. He could become friends with someone in five minutes. . . . He lived every day exuberantly. . . . He didn't let anything go to waste. . . . He was self-sacrificing and altruistic. . . . I never saw him unhappy. I never saw him with a frown on his face. . . . At a party there was a fight going on and he interceded to try and stop the fight and got punched in the face. He said he was glad he was the person who'd gotten hit so the fight didn't have to escalate. . . . He embraced the world. . . . It was a privilege to know him. . . . His spirit lives."
A friend of his mother said "Eli was a wise old soul." He had already sensed that all religions are simply different ways to express a connection with a source greater than oneself. Therefore, to honor his quest for spiritual understanding, we have created this memorial service with elements from several religious traditions.
The path of his life was not always easy. Like many teenagers, his youthful exuberance sometimes got the better of him. However, he had definitely turned his life around and was on a trajectory toward full adulthood, toward a time when, we are sure, his cheerful enthusiasm and love of life would have been expressed in service to others.
Two years ago letters were written on his behalf from employers and others who knew him and it is in the re-reading of those letters that we can better see his character.
In speaking of his work with the RAVEN Project, a street outreach program designed to have a positive impact on the lives of street youth in Humbolt County, the coordinator said that "Eli remained constantly gracious, productive, helpful, motivated, resourceful and insightful. He is an excellent street outreach worker because he has endured some tough situations in his life which have made him stronger. . . . Eli displayed a determination of positive purpose I rarely see in young people who have had dealings with the juvenile justice system."
Also, a street outreach worker in the RAVEN Project noted that he had "never been late, never skipped work, and never caused any problems."
In regard to his work with the Manila Community Services District, that letter said, "he is an excellent employee . . . He is a willing worker, regardless of task asked to perform. He is kind and gentle. . . cooperative and motivated . . . a great role model . . . polite and considerate . . . He displayed respect and generosity when assisting the senior members of the community during their meetings."
Like all of us, Eli wasn't perfect, despite the accolades of his friends and employers. But it is clear that he was learning to overcome obstacles with creativity and determination. He was willing to be responsible for his actions. He knew that to be his very best took courage and resilience. He knew that before one can make a difference in the world, one must begin with oneself.
In the past year, as a young adult in college in Santa Cruz, he worked while maintaining excellent grades and was proud he was one of six students out of 100 who got an A in his oceanography class. There is every indication that he would continue to be successful with each passing year.
And so today, as we mourn Eli's early death, we consider what he has left us.
He leaves us with many positive memories, of course. But he also leaves us with the goals he was unable to fulfill. He wanted to do his part to transform the world. He wanted people and nations to live together in peace. He wanted a better environment. He wanted music and joy and laughter.
If we are to honor Eli's memory, we would all do well to remember that while he is not here to make the world a better place, we can act in his behalf. We can choose to see what we need to change within ourselves to that we can be the best we can be. We can choose to be better stewards for the world and take better care of each other. |
