How Does Your Personality Affect Your Relationships?

December 17, 2009

Introducing a Series of Questions for Healing Relationships

sun with question markWe have conflicts with one another for many reasons. Sometimes a personality trait gets in the way. Sometimes we have a different opinion or value or philosophy of life. Whatever the cause, understanding ourselves is the first step in discovering what we might do to heal a strained or broken relationship.

That is why I have created a series of  simple, but not simplistic, questions you can ask yourself as you move toward greater peace of mind, a process that can lead to greater peace between you and another person.

The purpose of the questions in this category is to have you better understand the many facets of your personality and your coping skills as they relate to your relationships. As you do the 19 sets of questions about personality, notice whether some of your traits seem to be more “hard-wired” for you than others. They may be more difficult to change. However, also notice that other characteristics don’t seem to be serving your relationship very well at the moment and may be more amenable to change.

Four Important Notes

  1. There are no right and wrong answers.
  2. There aren’t any trick questions with hidden agendas.
  3. The questions are designed to help you understand yourself and your relationship better so that you can have greater peace of mind as you learn more about yourself.
  4. Pay particular attention to the “why” questions. That’s where you’ll find pay dirt in these exercises.

Exploring Your Personality # 1: Self-Motivation


  • If I imagine a self-motivation scale of 1-10 — in which “1” means I am almost never motivated to change my behavior and attitude toward life, and “10” that almost all the time I am motivated to improve myself and see how I might be better than I have been in the past — what rating would I give myself? In other words, do I generally look at ways I can be better or do I generally accept myself just as I am and tend not to spend effort on self-improvement?
  • Why do I give myself that rating?
  • How would I rate other people in my life, especially people with whom I have a difficult relationship?
  • Does the difference or similarity in our ratings make a difference in our relationship?

To explore other questions and related material see Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Healing Relationships is an Inside Job.

19 thoughts on “How Does Your Personality Affect Your Relationships?

  1. Well not blowing my own trumpet but the truth is I will rate myself 10 out of 10 when it comes to motivation.I am always on my heels for updating and improving myself for the better.I can’t say much about difficult relationships as I don’t have any or even if I have I think they don’t matter.
    Check this if you want –
    How motivated are you?
    The test finds out how inspired you really are.


  2. Johanna,

    Thanks for the link to the quiz website. I thought the questions of the test you suggest were very good. I would recommend it to anyone who is having problems with reaching goals and who wonders whether their motivation plays a role in it.



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