Hiatus for a Perfectionist

May 2, 2011
What do you do when there is more work than time and you don’t want to disappoint people?

Pink Hibiscus budsPeriodically I’ve shared how I get so caught in the pull of feeling I have to do everything well, and of assuming others expect me to do everything well,  that if is hard to simply let life unfold, like these buds will unfold to create exotic flowers — but not until when they are good and ready.

That is the position I am in today. When I think about all the things I want to do this month (including attending the wedding of our oldest grandson), I can’t figure out how I can possibly write as many posts as I think you would like. Yet when I put on my recovering perfectionist hat, I know that I have several choices:

I can force myself to stay awake longer than my body wants me to so that I can meet a standard you may — or may not — have for my blog. (Think I’ll not chose this option.)

I can tell myself that readers are not going to die if they don’t find something new here at least twice a week.

I can write when I am able and as well as I can and let that be well enough.

I can tell myself that the sun will shine tomorrow no matter how many posts I write.

I can suggest that my readers come to the blog about once a week and check to see if I’ve found time to add something new.

I can suggest that my readers use an RSS feed to know when a new post is added.

I can suggest my readers check their emails for a Support4Change Newsletter (that is, for when I have time to organize one) and that the newsletter will tell you what is latest on the blog.

Okay. Have I made myself clear? Actually, I was talking to myself, not to you. I already know that faithful readers will enjoy whatever they find when they come here. Unfaithful (that is, irregular) readers won’t particularly care and will enjoy what they find when they come here.

Anyway, for today’s mini-topic (since I don’t have time for extensive writing), I’d like to share something I wrote today as a comment on the blog of a friend. We’re All Riders on This Bus was David Spero’s recent post on his blog, Reason to Live. Incidentally, he has previously written article for the Support4Change website based on his experience as a nurse with MS, which makes his blog on “Healing Stories and Self-Care Strategies For Chronic Illness, Depression, and Hard Times” based on real, and caring, experience. Here is what I wrote:

Often when we ask someone what they are good at, they will say, “Oh nothing much. I just like to talk to people, or I like to sew, or I like to cook. . . ,” or any of a hundred things that seem so ordinary. But to someone who is extremely sky, talking is a challenge. To people who can’t find the hole in the needle, sewing is extreme art. To someone who can’t boil eggs, cooking is a mystery. For everything we do well without effort, there is someone who would love to change places with us.

If I were to take my advice, I would say that if you are someone who can easily skip writing on your blog without a second thought, I envy you. If you would like to write a blog, even if not every day, perhaps you envy me. It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it?

What gift do you have to give? What gift do I have to give? Perhaps it’s time to realize our lives are very short and we can only live them for as long as we are given. Make the most of it. Don’t regret what you can’t do if you’re having fun doing whatever else you are doing.

That’s the way I’m approaching today. If you come back here and see these buds, to remind you that life unfolds like a blossom and you can’t make it open faster by working harder, you’ll know that I’m enjoying myself and will be back as soon as I can.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons


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Here are a some related posts from this blog, and articles from the Support4Change website:


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