Ask Questions of Yourself and Your Friends: Asking and Giving Advice

September 16, 2013

Deepen relationships by asking questions about advice among friends
Number Four

Ask Questions and Explore Answers:  Discover questions you may never have thought to ask yourself and share them with your friends. Come here the third Monday of each month to deepen your understanding of yourself, others, and the world.


Some of us are quicker to offer advice than others. For many years, for example, I would offer my opinion whether you asked for it or not. But now that I am a recovering perfectionist, I can see that I prevented better relationships by assuming others wanted – and needed – my advice.

Before looking at the questions at the bottom of the page, read the quotes below and notice which ones most resonate with you.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

— Bill Cosby

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When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

— Henri Nouwen

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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

— Oscar Wilde

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Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them.

— Khalil Gibran

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We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.

 — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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Now look at the questions below and share this post with a friend.

Suggested Method for Exploring Questions
About Asking and Giving Advice

  1. Carefully consider the questions below and notice how your answers help or hinder your experience of life.
  2. Share the questions and your answers with friends and/or family members.
  3. Ask them to share their answers with you.
  4. Notice how their answers may be the same as, or different than yours.
  5. Notice how the answers both of you give have expanded your understanding of yourself and of the other person.

Questions About How You Give Advice and Ask for Advice

Do I tend to give advice when it isn’t asked for? Why or why not?

When someone asks for my advice, am I likely to be offended if the other person doesn’t take the advice? Why?

When I ask for advice, do I make the assumption that the person I’m asking expects me to take the advice, or that he or she is merely offering an opinion? Why?

Here is Another Way to Explore What Giving and Getting Advice Means to You

For me, asking for advice means _________.

For me, giving advice means _________.

Asking for advice has carried me through difficult situations by ______.

Giving advice has carried me through difficult situations by ______.

I most need advice when _________.

The way I express advice is by _________.

For me, a symbol that represents giving advice is __________.

For me, a symbol that represents asking for advice is __________.


Did you enjoy this post?
Here are a some related posts from this blog, and articles from the Support4Change website:


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