August 21, 2014
Take a break and enjoy these courtroom jokes.
Sometimes I can’t resist telling lawyer jokes. The ones I bring you today were sent to me a couple years ago and I’ve kept them for a day when I figure you might need a lighter touch.
If that day is today, you’re in luck.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death…
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
WITNESS: All of them… The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
(Well OK, this is the best)