A simple (but important) piece of advice to help improve your relationships.
If enough of us can rise to the current challenge of the man-woman relationship, using them as opportunities to peel away illusions, tap our deepest powers, and expand our sense of who we are, we can begin to develop the wisdom our age is lacking. — Abraham Maslow
[The advice also applies to same-sex relationships.]
I am glad that Judith Sherven, PhD, and James Sniechowski, PhD, have given me permission to reprint the first chapter of their book Opening To Love 365 Days A Year
because it contains 31 pieces of relationship advice for each day of the month.
The posts won’t be very long, but they will be packed with excellent ideas to help anyone build a relationship that is as successful as theirs (and that’s saying a lot). Since I will be sharing their wonderful advice once every month, it will allow me to spread their suggestions over more than two years.
Although the book on which this advice was written several years ago, they have also written another book I recommend, The New Intimacy: Discovering the Magic at the Heart Of Your Differences.
A New Beginning for Love
A new year is a clean slate, a chance to suck in your breath, decide all is not lost and give yourself another chance. — Sarah Overstreet
The beginning of a new year [actually, any day you are ready to make a fresh start in a relationship] is always a good time to set new goals, change our ways, and make a deeper commitment to love. Whether in a relationship or single, each of us wants to be loved for all that we are and love someone in just the same way.
How can you do it better? How can you open yourself beyond what you already know?
First and foremost, remember that THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT YOU. While that may sound overly simplistic, most relationships fall apart over fights resulting from ignorance about this truth. When you unconsciously imagine that your lover is like you, then any disagreement is shocking. Every fight has to be won.
But when you can remember that your partner’s feelings, beliefs and behaviors are just as important and valid to him as yours are to you, then you start off with the possibility of building a passionate, successful love between equals. Go for it!
Reinforce today’s ideas by saying this to yourself:
I welcome new opportunities for love.