Can We Feel Love All the Time?

This is the fifth post of advice from Opening to Love 365 Days a Year by Judith Sherven, PhD, and James Sniechowski, PhD.


When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility.

   — Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Lots of people imagine that when they love someone they will feel that rich, warm passion every minute of the day. They believe that they will never feel angry or bored or doubtful. But that’s simply not true.

Loving someone is a journey that spans the gamut of human emotions and life experiences. If we were bedazzled every waking minute, we’d never be able to attend to a sick child or conduct a business meeting. We’d never sleep or gaze at the stars. Lasting love is ultimately a commitment, a CHOICE to continue loving someone “through good times and bad, sickness and health.”

Throughout your activities today, check in with yourself from time to time. Notice whether or not you are thinking about your beloved, or feeling loving feelings. If so, fine. If not, does the lack of loving focus mean you’ve lost interest? You want to move on to someone else? Probably not. Chances are, it just means your attention is on your day’s events. Period.

Reinforce today’s ideas by saying this to yourself:

I know I won’t feel love all the time.

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