A Note from Arlene

Arlene Harder

Welcome to the Support4Change Blog!

I have had a continuous online presence for more than sixteen years with four websites, the last of which was Support4Change. Now I am in the process of bringing many of my previous articles here to my blog.

If you would like to learn more about me, please visit my bio page. If you would like to subscribe to my newsletter, you can do so here.


Diversion Number 23: What Happened to Her Head?

Diversions for You and Your Friends is a feature of the blog, which appears every Monday. To find out more about Diversionsread the Introduction and Number 1, or you can visit the Diversions Archive.

The dictionary defines diversion as “an activity that diverts the mind from tedious or serious concerns, a recreation or pastime.” That has been the purpose of the posts that I’ve given you every Monday since the middle of February—with the exception of August and the first two weeks of September.

Now I am starting a new plan for Mondays (although sometimes they may get postponed to Tuesdays for one reason or another). These are primarily posts based on emails I’ve received. I suspect you will find in them almost as much to divert you as the ones I’ve created myself, or maybe even more.

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Read More

Passing On Our Possessions

This article originally appeared on the Support4Change website, and is reposted here.

Discover how one family had great fun in deciding, while their parents were still living, what the children would inherit.

I’m so glad I’m alive to watch our children choose the paintings they want.
—Comment of my father as his children were deciding what items we wanted to inherit

fallIf you’ve never had the pleasure of choosing the things you want to inherit from your parents while they are still living, you’ve missed a great opportunity. Fortunately, I had that chance more than ten years ago when my parents were going into a retirement community and needed to pare down their possessions.

During a family reunion, my three siblings and I divided almost everything they owned into separate categories, such as kitchen items, tools, paintings (both were amateur painters), furniture, etc. The idea was to make selections of what we’d like to have for ourselves and for our children. We’d be able to take with us those things they had to get rid of right away and would mark other items we’d receive after they died. Read More

Evidence of a Mind-Body Connection

This article originally appeared on the Support4Change website, and is reposted here.

The ancient idea that attitudes play a vital part in the recovery process is finding systematic verification in current medical research. . . There is little doubt about the fact that fear is a great accelerator of disease. Conversely, hope, faith, confidence and the will to live set an auspicious stage for efforts toward recovery.     — Norman Cousins, Former Editor, Saturday Review of Literature

One of the most fascinating observations of the mind-body correlation was first noticed more than a decade ago. Some multiple personalities who were allergic to strawberries or exhibited symptoms of insulin-dependent diabetes when expressing one personality did not have those physical problems when in another personality state — entirely different reactions within the same body! Read More

Beyond Ordinary Listening

This article originally appeared on the Support4Change website, and is reposted here.

By Joyce Vissell
Reprinted with permission.

Learn how to communicate so fully that your partner can’t help but pay attention and listen to every word.

The art of listening is very important in life and essential in any relationship. Being able to listen carefully assures that valuable communication is passed between two people. Some communication is so riveting that we can’t help but pay attention and listen to every word.

But what about the communications that do not capture our attention fully. These are slower communications that do not pull you right in and perhaps are harder to keep your focus. It is during these times when you can “listen-plus.” Read More

My Special List of Friends

This article originally appeared on the Support4Change website, and is reposted here.

Several years ago I got a Christmas card with a poem that was almost identical to the following and the next year we sent it with our greetings. I believe it expresses what each of is thinking when we send greetings to a list of people with whom we don’t communicate more than once every year.
I recently discovered that a variation of this was originally written by Helen Steiner Rice. No matter how it is said, the message is wonderfully true. Read More