Transformation Now! (or maybe later) 

Explore how we progress toward change by negotiating five discrete stages, from our “comfort zone” to a place where we are able to maintain momentum for change.

In the January/February 2002 edition of Psychotherapy Networker there is an article by the name I’ve given this title. It appeared in a feature called “From Research to Practice” and discussed a large cross-sectional study of 3,000 people. What they found was very interesting. We generally do not enter therapy to actively resolve our problems, reduce our symptoms and retool our lives. Rather, we tend to negotiate five discrete stages as we progress toward change. Read More

The Origin of “Do Good Anyway”

January 24, 2013
Regardless of its origin, this poem is insightful and inspiring.

Badab-e Surt, Iran

Last Thursday, in the post Are You Defined By Your Mistakes?  I shared a poem that I’ve taken to heart. Today I bring you another poem that relates to my current thinking about life.

This poem has been titled both “Do It Anyway” and “Do Good Anyway” and often erroneously attributed to Mother Theresa. However, when I checked with Quote Investigator, a new site I’ve found that is “dedicated to tracing quotations,” I read:

The original collection of sayings were created by a college student named Kent M. Keith and published in 1968 in a pamphlet titled “The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council.”

. . . Note that Kent M. Keith has a website that includes a page listing the expressions above which he calls the “Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership”. Keith discusses the origin of the commandments, and his claims are consistent with the documentary evidence that QI has located.

. . . Indeed, the sayings did evolve during decades of transmission, and multiple variants have been published in newspapers, books, and magazines. Sometimes entire statements have been deleted. But Keith’s “Paradoxical Commandments” function as the foundational text, and other sets have been directly or indirectly derived from them.

I was glad to see that QI also explained why the poem is attributed to Mother Theresa.

DO GOOD ANYWAY

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

 Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

 

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What Have I Learned That I Can Pass On?

June 25, 2012
Words of wisdom can come from individuals of any age.

What Have I Learned That I Can Pass On?


The following words of advice are excerpted from the book, Live and Learn and Pass It On by H. Jackson Brown.

I’ve learned that you should never eat the cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving.
– Age 12

I’ve learned that there is nothing better than to sit
in the straw and hold a new foal’s head in my lap.

Chestnut foal

– Age 15

I’ve learned that what I call clean, my mom calls messy.

– Age 11

I’ve learned that when you tell your younger brother that he can fly, he’ll try it.

– Age 12

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I’ve learned that you should never tell your little brother that you’re not going to do what your mom told you to do.
— Age 12

I’ve learned that a good cook never lacks friends.

— Age 42

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I’ve learned that no matter how old I get, I like my mom taking care of me when I’m sick.

— Age 25

Strawberry Ice Cream


I’ve learned that you should never mention ice cream when you’re baby-sitting if you’re not sure there’s some in the refrigerator.

— Age 11

I’ve learned that if someone asks “How are you doing?” it’s not necessary to give them a full health report.
— Age 65

I’ve learned that when I’m angry, my mouth works faster than my brain.

— Age 58

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I’ve learned that there is no feeling quite so nice as your child’s hand in yours.
— Age 37
Baby and Daddy

I’ve learned that wearing anything too small is a sure way to ruin my day.

— Age 44

I’ve learned that the older I get, the more I say “I don’t know.” When I was younger, I thought I knew it all.
— Age 65

I’ve learned that the worse thing in life to be without
is love, but toilet paper comes in a close second.

— Age 59

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I’ve learned that shouldn’t cry over anything that can’t cry back.
— Age 60

I’ve learned that you should never leave your one-year-old Dalmatian alone in a room with a black permanent marker and real clean carpet.

— Age 11

I’ve learned that someone who has never said “I’m sorry” after a five-year relationship is not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
— Age 22

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I’ve learned that happiness is not how much you have but your capacity to enjoy what you have.
— Age 44

Morning LightI’ve learned that working in a garden
at sunrise has a tremendous effect on the soul.

— Age 32

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
— Age 16

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I’ve learned that when you buy a car for the first time, your number of friends increases dramatically.
— Age 16

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t hold a baby above your head after he has eaten.

— Age 14

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PicnicI’ve learned that when you’re at a family picnic, you shouldn’t say you don’t like what you’re eating because the person sitting next to you might have prepared it.
— Age 18

I’ve learned that every woman
is beautiful when she smiles.

— Age 66

I’ve learned that it’s not a good idea to try to break in a new bra during a transcontinental flight.
— Age 46

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I’ve learned that having someone tell you he loves you and having someone show you he loves you are two completely different things.
— Age 18

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t ask for anything that costs
more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes.

— Age 9

I’ve learned that I can’t dust the table with the photo albums
on it without stopping it look at the pictures.

— Age 42

I’ve learned that when I am feeling terribly unloved
by someone, I need to ask myself what I’ve done
recently to show I love them.

— Age 29

Photos courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
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Are Neighbors Jealous of Your Garage?

May 21, 2012
This is how you can rearrange your garage without doing any work.

Today I want to share an evergreen idea my sister sent me. Now that I know how these are done, I may have seen what I thought was the inside of garage when it was only wallpaper.

You can also show your neighbors the inside of your garage where you keep a fire engine, jet fighter, speedboat, gold bricks, bulldozer, airplane, wine cellar, train, and so forth. You can even make a statement about your views on heaven and hell if you want.

Visit Garage Door Art.

Man papering over garage door

Look for other humorous posts in my stack of evergreen ideas.

 

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Who Wants a Picture of Dirty Dishes?

April 15, 2012
How realistic do you like your paintings to be?

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Last September, as I was getting ready for our trip to Europe, I wrote a post called “Viewing Time as an Ocean.”  In it I quoted Meghan Daum of the Los Angeles Times who said that  “evergreen is journalist lingo for a topic that, like its namesake, is always in season (or, at least, one that won’t go stale immediately).”

In that post I said I wanted to schedule a number of such posts to be published while I was gone. Then I would get back to writing fresh posts.

However, as you may know if you read the first post after I got back — “It Was The Best of Vacations, It Was the Worst of Vacations” — I was out of commission for quite a few months. Now I am back to creating more “evergreens” while I focus on two long-neglected jobs: getting my contact list brought up to date and getting my computer organized.

In the former situation I have hundreds of people I need to keep track of and have not. In the latter, I have tens of thousands (well, thousands anyway) of computer files I can’t find. Why? Because I do what you probably do: When I first save a file I give it a name that makes sense to me at that moment. A couple months  or years later, I haven’t the foggiest idea what I was thinking. Consequently, I have had to spend far too much time searching, which isn’t fun. Even worse, sometimes a file is lost forever.

So to get those two jobs done and still provide new material for the blog, I’m putting together some evergreen posts that will be scheduled for two or three times a week while I’m doing my nitty-gritty chores. There are several topics that won’t take too long to pull together (or so I hope) and should still be interesting to my readers (some of them, anyway).

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This evergreen post comes from Hyper Realistic Paintings That Look Like Photos, which was sent to me by my brother. This page of 26 drawings on the Bored Panda website, many in the class of Andy Warhol Campbell soup cans, are as good as photos. But as my sister pointed out, why would someone want a beautifully rendered picture of a sink full of dishes? Evidence for divorce?

Yet if you look carefully you’ll notice that the pans and dishes stacked in the sink don’t have any food stuck on them. They already are cleaned, so why aren’t they turned over and draining instead of sitting in the sink with water running on them?

Painting of sink full of pan

How do these “photorealists” do it? Do they take a picture and then paint over it?

Anyway, the picture below is one of the pictures that caught my eye because it looks almost exactly like a picture I took on the coast in South Carolina. I would have also included my picture to show you the comparison — but I couldn’t find it in the computer!

Sandy beach with grasses and ocean

Time to write a few more evergreens for the next few weeks while I organize my lists of names and my files.

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If you missed it, don’t forget to read A Book for a Blooper. It is an offer to give you a book if you find a mistake in the newly revamped Support4Change website.

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