A New Beginning Any Day of the Year

A simple (but important) piece of advice to help improve your relationships.

If enough of us can rise to the current challenge of the man-woman relationship, using them as opportunities to peel away illusions, tap our deepest powers, and expand our sense of who we are, we can begin to develop the wisdom our age is lacking.  — Abraham Maslow
[The advice also applies to same-sex relationships.]

I am glad that Judith Sherven, PhD, and James Sniechowski, PhD, have given me permission to reprint the first chapter of their book Opening To Love 365 Days A Year
because it contains 31 pieces of relationship advice for each day of the month.

The posts won’t be very long, but they will be packed with excellent ideas to help anyone build a relationship that is as successful as theirs (and that’s saying a lot). Since I will be sharing their wonderful advice once every month, it will allow me to spread their suggestions over more than two years.

Although the book on which this advice was written several years ago, they have also written another book I recommend, The New Intimacy: Discovering the Magic at the Heart Of Your Differences.

A New Beginning for Love

A new year is a clean slate, a chance to suck in your breath, decide all is not lost and give yourself another chance.  — Sarah Overstreet

The beginning of a new year [actually, any day you are ready to make a fresh start in a relationship] is always a good time to set new goals, change our ways, and make a deeper commitment to love. Whether in a relationship or single, each of us wants to be loved for all that we are and love someone in just the same way.

How can you do it better? How can you open yourself beyond what you already know?

First and foremost, remember that THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT YOU. While that may sound overly simplistic, most relationships fall apart over fights resulting from ignorance about this truth. When you unconsciously imagine that your lover is like you, then any disagreement is shocking. Every fight has to be won.

But when you can remember that your partner’s feelings, beliefs and behaviors are just as important and valid to him as yours are to you, then you start off with the possibility of building a passionate, successful love between equals. Go for it!

Reinforce today’s ideas by saying this to yourself:

I welcome new opportunities for love.

What Does This Guy Want From You?

August 2, 2012
A Little Humor Can Enrich Your Relationships

I received this email from Support4Change contributors Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski a while back and got a kick out of it:

Dear Arlene,

Our friend and subscriber Jeremy
sent this earlier this week…

AND we just had to share it with you –
it is soooooo fun!

IMPORTANT –
WHEN THE GUY STOPS RUNNING,
PLACE YOUR CURSOR ABOUT 1 INCH
ABOVE HIS HEAD.

http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html

Pass it on!

Because It’s All in the Connection,
Judith & Jim

The creator of this site has a number of interactive videos with which you can amuse yourself. I hope you take a break, and have fun with them.

Did you enjoy this post?
Here are a some related posts from this blog, and articles from the Support4Change website:

 

Encouraging Everyone’s Special Talents, Including Yours

September 30, 2010
How might the world be better if we all applauded everyone’s unique talent?

In the relationships section of Support4Change you will find a number of articles and sidebars on keeping love alive by Judith and Jim (that is Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski). They are a husband-and-wife therapist team and leaders of “Bridging Heart and Marketing.”

In their books, such as The New Intimacy, they encourage couples to find the magic in the heart of their differences. So when I saw the title of their recent email, I was curious: “Sunday Treat . . . A Beyond Special Video for You.” Inside I found a link to a video called “From Service Dog to SURFice Dog.” It is a beautiful example of how, when we accept others just as they are, we open their lives (and ours) to great possibilities.

True, the hero of the video is a dog, but the lesson applies equally to humans.

After you watch this video (which shows some great scenes on training service dogs), please ask yourself the questions below — and follow the suggestion at the very end.

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:

Do I encourage the strengths of others even when I might prefer that they express other talents?

Am I able to accept myself just as I am and support my strengths even when I wish I could do something else?

Suggestion for today: When you are shopping, working, or are anywhere you will see people you may not know, take a moment and imagine you are applauding them for their greatest strength. You may not know what that is and they may not even know what it is, but I believe your willingness to secretly encourage them can be felt by them. That may be the very thing they need to reach their potential.

Did you enjoy this post?
Here are a some related posts from this blog, and articles from the Support4Change website: